3 Steps to Get the Life You Want
Life is full on, right? We, women, play so many roles it’s like covering every part in a movie – mother, businesswoman, adventurer, friend, sister, ally, partner, activist.
Although each of these roles is enticing, complex and challenging there’s just one problem: we spend most of our life feeling like we don’t have time to do any of them well.
I talk with hundreds of businesswomen every month and I hear this same lament time and again.
“I can’t do it all, I feel overwhelmed. How do I juggle all these competing demands?”
How about we stop and consider that the context for these conversations is inherently flawed! Take a moment to reflect on whether your own view of these roles is outdated or worse, that you’ve been measuring your competency against an image designed by marketeers.
What if it doesn’t need to look like any that and instead you get to create how you play your role in life. Imagine that, you actually get to choose!
To contemplate any of this you’d need to be willing to step off the treadmill of life long enough to think. You’d need to accept that you are worth it, and to acknowledge that none of this is easy in a world that values busy, equates it to being ‘successful’, and spoon feeds us formulas for living.
So are you up it? If so, here’s how you might start:
Be kind and loving to yourself
Give yourself the time and stop waiting for someone else to say it’s okay.
Unplug from the internet, turn your phone to airplane mode and take time out to think. If your pesky inner voice says, ‘Yeah, but what if my children need me or a client is demanding a response?’, then get proactive: make a few calls and let them know you won’t be contactable for a certain amount of time. Remember – we teach people how to treat us.
Then go for a walk, lie on your bed or do nothing. Listen to music. And just be. Breathe. Smile. Laugh.
Embrace your own creative, unique view of the world
No one else can do this except you, there is no right or wrong, it is simply you as you choose to be – strong, kind, generous, selfish, bold, determined – whatever turns you on.
Start a list that can become your definition of a wonderful life and during the process allow yourself to find the words that describe how you feel about your roles in life.
Mother – love, food, communication
Businesswoman – inspiring, connected, disciplined
Adventurer – disciplined, fit
Sister – loving, supportive
Then imagine how you want to deliver those words into the world.
You could switch from wanting to be a great mother to being loving, supportive, evolved mother. What would that look like?
You could be an inspiring and disciplined businesswoman and design the parameters for that to occur. What wonderful changes could you implement?
You could redefine selfish and start behaving in a way that honours self first. Perhaps this will lead you to the optimum space to be the best for others.
Take one small action and then keep on going
You can know something but you can only experience it and feel it by taking action. Your inner critic will offer up all sorts of wild and wonderful reasons why you shouldn’t, so it will take rigorous attention and great determination to make the change.
A valuable first step in the process is creating visual cues and reminders about what you’re doing. Write messages on the bathroom mirror, leave post-it notes on the coffee pot, put a reminder in the car so you are continually being reminded of the change you want to create in your world.
I would love to know how you get on and I look forward to seeing you at the next She Business forum.
Keep me posted.